Community celebrations have marked the rhythm of Jewish life throughout
the ages. And for nearly as long, Jews have been asking the question,
“How much is too much?” Over the centuries, different communities have
responded in a variety of ways:

• In Forli, Italy, in 1418, community leaders instructed Jewish families
to invite no more than twenty men, ten women, five girls, and three
generations of relatives to wedding celebrations—and half as many
for a bris/circumcision.

• In Furth, Germany, in 1728, local rabbis told Jewish families to invite only
relatives to their weddings and not to serve any tea or coffee. No more than
ten horsemen and four attendants could bring the bride from another town
to the festivities.

Though the suggestion that we limit wedding transportation to only ten
horsemen from the neighboring town may sound antiquated, the underlying
impulse to keep celebrations simple holds some wisdom for us today.Indeed, in New York City in 2002, dozens of Orthodox rabbis issued a modern ruling in this same tradition, setting a maximum number of wedding guests and musicians and specifying appropriate centerpieces, flowers, and menus.
“The concept of modesty, not only in dress but in behavior and expression,
is central to the Torah,” Rabbi Avi Shafran told The New York Times. “Limiting
excess, whether in general lifestyle or celebrations, is an inherently
Jewish ideal.”

This guide’s primary purpose is to ask questions and offer suggestions
about how to bring our community’s celebration-related purchasing in
line with our values. It does not attempt to establish the kind of precise
consumption guidelines that communities in Forli, Furth, or New York have
done, but brings forward the tradition of conscious celebration into our own
Washington-area Jewish community.

This guide invites you and your family to explore these questions:

• What is our upcoming Jewish celebration for?

• What is the highest purpose of this celebration, and how can our purchasing
decisions for the event best achieve that purpose?